Falling quite publicly and using restrooms reserved for those who are handicapped

Yesterday I slipped and fell in the cafeteria, and although things like this happen quite often to me, I consider this to be an occurrance that falls entirely into a league of it's own.

After eating by myself in the upstairs portion of our cafeteria, as I often do, I began to walk down the stairs to find that they were wet... and slippery. My shoes have very little tread because I like them so much and wear them so frequently, so in essence this was a semi-perfect storm. This was a fall that came slowly and was easily predicted but at one point became inevitable. My feet began to slip, my hands (being occupied with my tray of empty food) could not take hold of anything that could save me, and I slid down the stairs.

The cafeteria is set up in such a manner that anyone coming down the stairs is already performing for at least half of those who are eating. So of course when I fell, everyone could see. It really was a beautiful fall--my tray went flying and I fell straight on my back to slide down a few stairs. I think I've made my name. There was applause; I bowed and gracefully accepted my overwhelming embarassment. Afterwards I was told by several people that I had brightened their nights (Great.) and that they had never seen anyone handle such a devastating fall as well as I did (One kid told me he saw another freshman boy spill his tray and run off crying... I consider myself a stellar improvement on that example). I hope this makes me a legend.

Today I showered in the handicapped restroom and I can honestly say that few showers have left me with such a deep feeling of guilt. The janitor was cleaning and I was in a hurry so... I had to. I really did. And honestly, should I justify this? There is not one handicapped person in my building, and I doubt that any person, let alone someone with a physical handicap, would go out of his way to shower in a residence hall that is not his own around the hours of 11 am. 

But the guilt is still unshakeable. Even as I was on my way to shower I felt as though I needed to be particularly careful so as to enter unseen. Some girls came in right as I was in the doorway and I ran in and pushed it shut... Damn all hydraulically slowed doors!

Like a good slice of chocolate cake, it was well worth the guilt. Not in the month since I've been here have I enjoyed such a comfortable and private shower. It was spacious, the pressure was just right, and there was even a chair on which I could sit whilst I gave my feet a good scrubbing. Afterwards I had a room to myself in which I could get dressed, something that has become a hot comodity in this past month. Coming out of a weekend of several hangovers and a cold, I had never felt more entitled to such a luxurious experience.

Or so horrible afterwards. Beautiful, but horrible. Once out of the restroom I tried my hardest to dissociate myself from any connection to the bathroom. I hope no one knows it was me. They probably do. I also hope no one else is able to brave the guilt and use the shower. I just would like to be able to keep that in mind for the next time I want to shower quickly at an inconvenient time.